Thursday, August 21, 2008

Zoo's News: Tests Prove Chinese Gymnasts Not Underage.....

Beijing-Although the gymnastics portion of the Beijing Summer Olympics have been completed, controversy over the age of the Chinese gymnasts rages on. But results from scientific testing, completed today by the International Olympic Committee (IOC), confirm the Chinese government's claims that the athletes are over the age of 16.

"We've put the girls through some pretty rigorous testing and they all fit the Olympic age requirements for gymnastics," IOC assistant to the travelling secretary Odin Needlemeyer explained. "In fact, many of their motorized parts date back to the 1980's, with uneven bar gold medal winner He Kexin containing several gears, and an internal gyrostabilizer, that were invented twenty years before that."

Though this mystery is now solved, the number of investigations being demanded by participating countries continue to rise according to IOC President Count Jacques Rogge. "Thankfully the question of underage Chinese gymnasts has been settled. Next up, we are going to look into Micronesian allegations that Michael Phelps is a hybrid fishman sent from the future to prevent some kind of catastrophe, possibly involving killer whales."

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