Zoo's News: Early Admission Programs Turning to Reality Televsion.....

Cambridge, MA-A new survey of American colleges and universities by the U.S. Department of Education reveals that a growing number are incorporating lessons learned from the world of reality television into their admission policies.

"We need to know that early admission applicants are motivated and capable of handling the responsibility that comes with acceptance to our university," Harvard President Drew Gilpin Faust explained. "And the best way that we can think of to find out is by pitting prospective students against each other in a series of contests like who can eat the most wild boar testicles and who can catch the most diseases over a one month period."

The University of Delaware also utilizes such competitions to weed out unworthy applicants for early admission. But in order to better identify those most likely to excel, a final elimination process is employed where students are forced to live together in a small Dover loft for several weeks. At the end of each week, students vote on who should be kicked out of the loft, but at any point in the process a randomly chosen participants may be shot.