Stop the presses! Somebody sent in another amateur video of a long debunked mystery! This time, a local news station out of Dallas-Fort Worth has released video footage of "the mysterious creature known as the chupacabra" provided by a south Texas Sheriff's Deputy who apparantly doubles as an expert in canine kinesiology.
I watched the video dumbfounded, wondering why these people jumped to the odd conclusion that the creature on film was something that, at least according to Wikipedia, is a "heavy creature, the size of a small bear, with a row of spines reaching from the neck to the base of the tail" that drinks goat blood, may be an alien, and can hop 20 feet at a time. Upon further investigation, I now know that this so-called cryptid, or creature that has been suggested to exist but probably only lives in the cerebrum of lazy minded true believers, has recently been suggested by a minority of chupacabrists to actually be some kind of hairless dog-like reptile.
A year ago, in the small town of Cuero, TX, a woman claimed to have found the head of the "mythical bloodsucking chupacabra" and was keeping it safe in her freezer. She simply wanted to preserve it so that modern science might "get to the bottom of its ancestry through DNA testing" but I'm sure that the 15-minutes of fame and the money she made selling t-shirts to believers all over the world had nothing to do with it. She had to go to the local media to uncover the truth instead of simply contacting a local university's zoology department or similar entity.
But the local media did end up providing a sample to Texas State researchers, who after performing DNA analysis and comparison announced that the "goat sucker" was a coyote, much to the chagrin of the San Antonio news station that financed the testing I'm sure. This information somehow either didn't trickle down to the station broadcasting the new live footage of the "chupacabra" or was just ignored. They act as if the beast is a total mystery and proof of the chupacabra. I guess a coyote with canine scabies (mange) or some other skin disorder wouldn't garner as much attention.
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1 comment:
out of all the mythical, blood sucking creatures out there, the Chupacabra is almost certainly the sneakiest
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