Area Boy Injured in Tragic Cheese Geyser Accident.....

Argyle Township, MI-Local 7-year-old Timmy Gundersen was seriously injured today when a geyser, estimated by geologists and food scientists to be over twenty-feet-tall and made entirely of cheddar cheese, erupted spontaneously under the young child.

"We've seen incidents like this in the past," Argyle Township Children's Hospital emergency physician Mort Fishman explained. "Unfortunately, in this case, instead of the enjoyment of a literal explosion of cheesy flavor, the child will likely never walk again and may not survive the night."

The formation of the cheese geyser, which occured after Gundersen's consumption of a handful of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese flavored crackers, is another in a long line of food related injuries. University of Michigan Food safety expert Sinclair Upton revealed that the number of children suffering harm in freak culinary catastrophes is growing. "Just last month a young girl in Dearborn suffered a traumatic brain injury when a large man, dressed as some kind of pitcher, appeared out of nowhere and burst through a brick wall into her family's kitchen."