In a nationally televised press conference held this morning, governor of Alaska and John McCain's vice presidential pick Sarah Palin announced that she would make protecting populations of endangered species, and homeland security, a top priority if elected.
"I may be just a simple small town hockey mom, but I love the environment and I love America!" Palin declared while addressing the crowd of nearly thirty thousand supporters. "And I promise you that I will put the full weight of the White House behind saving our precious ecosystems and protecting the American people!"
Palin plans to propose an amendment to the United States Constitution that would make it legal for hunters to employ aerial-hunting tactics to thin the number of predators in regions with endangered species such as moose and caribou. It will also include the use of tactical nuclear weapons to protect Alaskan towns from roving gangs of bloodthirsty polar bears.
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1 comment:
those dang polar bears. Little tear-jerkers, they are so insincere, with their pathetic attempts at PRETENDING to drown en masse at sea.
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