Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Study Shows More Americans Getting Medical Information from Shampoo Commercials.....

Raleigh, NC-Researchers at North Carolina State University looking into where Americans obtain medical information, announced today that 80% of US adults cite shampoo commercials as their primary source.

The findings, based on telephone surveys of over thirty thousand men and women over the age of eighteen, are sending shockwaves through the medical community. "The dramatic rise in the number of adults turning to shampoo commercials to update themselves on chronic medical conditions, disease prevention strategies, and even information on when to seek acute care, is alarming," explained lead investigator Dr. Mort Fishman. "I'd love to be able to learn how to have shiny, lustrous hair, and how to manage Type 2 Diabetes in one convenient place as much as the next physician, but I don't trust patient care to Pert Plus or Garnier Fructis."

The shampoo industry, who had received word of the report prior to the official announcement, isn't rolling over. A. G. Lafley, CEO of Procter and Gamble, has already issued a press release attempting to counter some of the statements made by the NCSU researchers regarding the legitimacy of health information acquired from shampoo commercials. "You know, it seems like our information was good enough when Pantene practically wrote the book on the cardiovascular sequelae of atherosclerotic renal disease, or when Clairol Herbal Essences discovered the link between the BRCA1 gene and breast cancer. This is just a bitter bald guy trying to make a name for himself with flimsy evidence and poor reasoning."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, that is awesome. What a relief. And here I thought they were getting their medical information from People magazine and Rush Limbaugh.

Unknown said...

Dewd,

it is the BPA-free shampoo bottles that really hold the secret. Um, not secreting those carcinogens and strange hormonal disruptors. That is the secret the bald guys KNOW.

your harried fan,
tl