Weekly Science and Skepticism Pop Quiz #2.....

The European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) announced today that a combination of malfunctioning equipment repairs and high fuel costs have led to the decision to delay collisions at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) until after Winter. Once the green light is given to begin full operation, it is predicted that collisions will replicate the heat, energy and densities that existed just a trillionth of a second after the Big Bang. It is hoped by the scientific community that the LHC will facilitate an understanding of the cosmos beyond the standard model of particle physics and possibly produce miniature black holes or reveal signs of extra dimensions. But what most physicists are drooling over is evidence for the existence of the Higgs Boson, something often referred to as 'the god particle', which is an elementary particles that could account for most of the mass in the universe.

What mysterious entities are unlikely to be revealed within the LHC?

A. The ever-elusive chiropractic subluxation, or more specifically the complex of functional and/or structural and/or pathological articular changes that compromise neural integrity and may influence organ system and general health. Despite not actually being proven to exist yet, it is theorized by some experts that the subluxation may account for most of the money in the chiropractor's bank account.

B. Water memory. Theorized by homeopathic scientists, who seem to employ reasoning skills diluted beyond measurement, homeopathic remedies are said to be able to benefit from the healing powers of a substance no longer contained within them. A liberal pilfering of scientific terms, like quantum and vibration, has become standard practice for those defending water memory.

C. Human energy. This undetectable phenomenon is claimed to be at the bottom of pretty much all medical maladies, and just needs the gentle touch, or non-touch in most instances, of a qualified human energy manipulator to straighten out. Western science, with its pesky and cumbersome methodological naturalism just hasn't been able to isolate this wonderous whatever yet, but perhaps soon the time will come for healing touch and reiki practitioners to put use their ability to do work celebrating.

D. Bigfoot. Cryptozoologists have looked everywhere else.

E. All of the above

Answer: E