Failing Galaxy Economy Causing Increase in Alien Adductions.....

Zignar 7, Sagittarius Dwarf Elliptical Galaxy-As the number of planets feeling the effects of the ongoing economic downturn grow on a almost krebly basis, ruling Overlord of the Supreme Galactic Senate Zorg XIII has begun pressuring member civilizations to bring human adduction plans up to full speed earlier than the planned Smarch deadline.

"We have reached a point where the luxury of human medical research subjects, acid mine laborers, and game for recreational hunting has become a financial liability that we just can't afford," Commerce Droid BX-419 explained. "To feed, clothe, and sterilize a single human for just one flort cycle costs nearly two remlangs, which is significantly less than the total expenditure of transporting them all back where they came from."

The failing galactic economy has been traced to the financial policies of Overlord Zorg XII, known by his billions of subjects as both the Bringer of Eternal Peace and World Eater. "Geez, I invest the royal treasury in one Emu farm and these guys are calling for my borgle on a plate!"