Johnstown, PA-During an appearance in Johnstown today, Republican presidential candidate John McCain announced that if elected next Tuesday he plans to appoint Crazy Larry, of Crazy Larry's Mattress Emporium in Poughkeepsie, as Treasury Secretary.
"Our nation's economy, despite strong fundamentals, is in the kind of trouble that will only respond to decisive and wacky action," McCain explained. "Crazy Larry, now this is a man, my friends, who is literally insane for low, low prices and he will bring that pathologically overwhelming need to save you money to Washington."
Crazy Larry, in addition to having a lengthy track record of setting prices so low that he should be committed, is a religious conservative that supports the war in Iraq and opposes federal funding of stem cell research.
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Y'know, if you (or Spooner Jenkins) are into that kind of thing.
Word verification: WERAPH (n) A human who changes into an angel at the full moon.
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