Washington, D.C.-As the February 17, 2009 full-power broadcast television station conversion from analog to digital rapidly approaches, critics on both sides of the controversy are stepping up advertising campaigns in the hopes of better preparing the American public for either the prophesied thousand years of peace or an apacolyptic future where as much as 60% of television owners will suddenly be without access to their favorite programs.
"I just don't think that there are a lot of people out there right now taking this seriously," Democratic Senator Hort Perkins explained. "They are either too distracted by the failing economy or tonight's Latin Grammy Awards to realize what is at stake."
Not everyone in Congress is as concerned about the switchover as Senator Perkins, however, with some, like Republican Jenkins Chortworth, disagreeing with portions of proposed legislation geared towards encouraging American citizens to purchase add-on digital tuners. "I find it hard to believe that a few million people losing their television signal will result in widespread panic, riots, and the overthrow of the American government. That being said, while I disagree with government handouts for consumers unable to afford the new equipment, a few months of martial law would probably do the country good."
Showing posts with label Entertainment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Entertainment. Show all posts
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Stuff Believers Like: #5 Celebrity Death Triads.....
On Saturday, comedian Bernie Mac succumbed to pneumonia, only to be followed into the hereafter by iconic soul singer Isaac Hayes less than 24 hours later. It is only a matter of time before the question of who is next on the Grim Reaper's list is on people's minds. In fact, it has already begun.
Even as I am writing this post there are people pondering which black American celebrity will be the next to die. And this one example, in the form of an online discussion about the liklihood that Samuel L. Jackson is not long for this world, is representative of many more people pondering the same question in other forums. There are probably offices putting together celebrity death pools to bet money on whether it will be Jackson, Morgan Freeman, or, god forbid, Ernest Lee Thomas. I'm certain that at the very least there are thousands of atypically morbid family discussions going on at the dinner table or around the television, with everyone voicing their opinion on who next victim of fate is going to be.
As believers in numerology know, things, especially bad things, come in threes. They believe that numbers are magic and the number 3 in particular is very special. It is a powerful symbol of wholeness, of completion and of the endless cycle of existence. The Holy Trinity from the Christian tradition is the most commonly cited example of the potency of the number three here in America, but cultures throughout recorded history have set it apart as a number with supernatural significance. And throughout said recorded history, or at least as far back as I can google, the hypothesis that celebrities die in groups of three has been around, and example after example of folks pointing out these uncanny chains of demise can be found with a quick trip through cyberspace.
But the reality is that celebrity deaths do not come in threes. They come in droves just like physician deaths, lawyer deaths, cosmetologists deaths and any other group of people you look at. But as pattern seeking animals that are enfluenced by pop mysticisms like numerology, believers will seek out groups of three amongst the recently dead without even realizing the fallacy in their thinking. That fallacy comes in many forms, but none more so than the all too human pastime of confirmation bias, or remembering the hits and forgetting the misses. We pay close attention and make mental notes of all the instances where three celebrity deaths share a temporal relationship but ignore the times when one, two, or five die around the same time. But is that temporal relationship of three dead entertainers even meaningful?
No, it isn't. As I alluded to above it is merely random noise generated by the most prolific and effective serial killer of all time, which is of course time. But even assigning three celebrities that die consecutively to some kind of magical death triad is rife with errors in thinking. What is the appropriate time limit that should be allowed between deaths? Many might say one week, others a month, while a few would probably allow a longer interval. And what degree of celebrity counts. Is it fair to group Arthur C. Clark and Gary Gygax with Jeff Healey? You might think so, and you might be right, but I don't. Who decides?
Ultimately, calling a celebrity death triad, as it were, is no different than any other kind of post hoc reasoning. There is no mystical force that governs the death of our celebrities and sorts them into neat little bundles of three. There are only coincidences that years of flabby and out of shape reasoning skills see as something more.
Addendum (9:30 PM): Just as I was about to publish this post, I was called to attend to an ill patient. On the way to the room I overheard two nurses discussing this very topic. Their money is on Morgan Freeman. I hope they're wrong.
Even as I am writing this post there are people pondering which black American celebrity will be the next to die. And this one example, in the form of an online discussion about the liklihood that Samuel L. Jackson is not long for this world, is representative of many more people pondering the same question in other forums. There are probably offices putting together celebrity death pools to bet money on whether it will be Jackson, Morgan Freeman, or, god forbid, Ernest Lee Thomas. I'm certain that at the very least there are thousands of atypically morbid family discussions going on at the dinner table or around the television, with everyone voicing their opinion on who next victim of fate is going to be.
As believers in numerology know, things, especially bad things, come in threes. They believe that numbers are magic and the number 3 in particular is very special. It is a powerful symbol of wholeness, of completion and of the endless cycle of existence. The Holy Trinity from the Christian tradition is the most commonly cited example of the potency of the number three here in America, but cultures throughout recorded history have set it apart as a number with supernatural significance. And throughout said recorded history, or at least as far back as I can google, the hypothesis that celebrities die in groups of three has been around, and example after example of folks pointing out these uncanny chains of demise can be found with a quick trip through cyberspace.
But the reality is that celebrity deaths do not come in threes. They come in droves just like physician deaths, lawyer deaths, cosmetologists deaths and any other group of people you look at. But as pattern seeking animals that are enfluenced by pop mysticisms like numerology, believers will seek out groups of three amongst the recently dead without even realizing the fallacy in their thinking. That fallacy comes in many forms, but none more so than the all too human pastime of confirmation bias, or remembering the hits and forgetting the misses. We pay close attention and make mental notes of all the instances where three celebrity deaths share a temporal relationship but ignore the times when one, two, or five die around the same time. But is that temporal relationship of three dead entertainers even meaningful?
No, it isn't. As I alluded to above it is merely random noise generated by the most prolific and effective serial killer of all time, which is of course time. But even assigning three celebrities that die consecutively to some kind of magical death triad is rife with errors in thinking. What is the appropriate time limit that should be allowed between deaths? Many might say one week, others a month, while a few would probably allow a longer interval. And what degree of celebrity counts. Is it fair to group Arthur C. Clark and Gary Gygax with Jeff Healey? You might think so, and you might be right, but I don't. Who decides?
Ultimately, calling a celebrity death triad, as it were, is no different than any other kind of post hoc reasoning. There is no mystical force that governs the death of our celebrities and sorts them into neat little bundles of three. There are only coincidences that years of flabby and out of shape reasoning skills see as something more.
Addendum (9:30 PM): Just as I was about to publish this post, I was called to attend to an ill patient. On the way to the room I overheard two nurses discussing this very topic. Their money is on Morgan Freeman. I hope they're wrong.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Klassic Knudsen: September 3, 2007.....
Third Blue's Clue Found in Horrific Murder Investigation
Milwaukee, WI-After a lengthy and unfruitful initial investigation, the Milwaukee Police Department has finally uncovered the third of Blue's three clues to the identity and location of the perpetrator of a grisly triple murder that has left the city's inhabitants fearing for their personal safety.
"The murder was so random, so expertly executed," lead investigator Joe Hewitt explained. "Folks around here have been wondering who might be next. If not for these Blue's Clues, and Steve, I don't know if we would have been able to solve this one."
Holding the rusted and bloodstained machete while sitting in his Thinking Chair, Blue's owner Steve revealed "At first I couldn't understand what Blue was trying to tell me with the severed ear and the picture of an abandoned lighthouse but now it's so clear. So who's the cold-blooded killer boys and girls?"
Milwaukee, WI-After a lengthy and unfruitful initial investigation, the Milwaukee Police Department has finally uncovered the third of Blue's three clues to the identity and location of the perpetrator of a grisly triple murder that has left the city's inhabitants fearing for their personal safety.
"The murder was so random, so expertly executed," lead investigator Joe Hewitt explained. "Folks around here have been wondering who might be next. If not for these Blue's Clues, and Steve, I don't know if we would have been able to solve this one."
Holding the rusted and bloodstained machete while sitting in his Thinking Chair, Blue's owner Steve revealed "At first I couldn't understand what Blue was trying to tell me with the severed ear and the picture of an abandoned lighthouse but now it's so clear. So who's the cold-blooded killer boys and girls?"
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